Gaining Self-Confidence

Shy Unconfident Person

Self-confidence is not dependent on one’s appearance, money or diplomas hanged on the wall. It is about the internal feeling, creed, life philosophy: things which people are able to gain and cultivate. Of course, the natural, the rock solid self-esteem comes not at once, but if to use some methods and instruments you can get first results after a few weeks already. presents some techniques for you.

1. Start Feeling Yourself Confident Right Now

Stop waiting for the moment when something is to  happen in order to allow you feel yourself confident. Many people tell themselves phrases like next:

  • I will feel confident when I lose 45 pounds;
  • I will feel confident when I have relationships with a person loving and appreciating me;
  • I will feel confident when I get the diploma;
  • I will feel confident when I have suitable car and clothes.

Despite the fact you have to reach goals for your self-esteem to become real, it won’t appear until you start to really believe in yourself.

Stop waiting for any kind of external signal saying you have to start feeling self-confident. START feeling like that RIGHT NOW, no matter what is the place you are in and what is happening around you at this moment.

2. Be Resourceful

Mostly, people get themselves stuck in a deaf and blind state of mind before starting to act. This state is created by thoughts, emotions and physiology.

Here are some examples:

  • Before entering the chief’s cabinet, the worker starts proving themselves to be unworthy of a new position or increased salary, and finds thousands of reasons to tell for it;
  • Before an important presentation starts, they slouch, feel their anxiety and start being very nervous;
  • Before talking to a person they like, they think there is no chance for them because of their being silly or ugly.

Philosophy Doctor Paul McKenna states that self-confident people do the opposite: before they start doing something connected to an uncertainty or risk, they “tune” themselves to accept the challenge and treat it as an adventure, with enthusiasm and excitement.

3. Pretend that You are Self-Confident

They say, Salvador Dali was unbelievably shy. For an artist that wanted to get his fame, that was equal to a death sentence. But his uncle gave him a piece of advice: pretend to be an extravert. Dali followed that recommendation and started behaving himself appropriately, not being afraid to contact different people. Soon, he became who he only pretended to be.

4. Act in “If I…” style

So how to pretend? Act like “If…”. Ask yourself next:

  • If I were confident, how would I move?
  • … how would I sit?
  • … how would I dress?
  • … how would I speak? What could I say now?
  • … what thoughts would appear in my mind?

And then take the answers and start using them. Do this consequently and you’ll gain your confidence really fast.

5. Proceed with Small Consequent Steps

In the first point of this article, we stated that you need to feel confident right now, no matter where you are and how you really feel, But, it is easier to say, than to do. Here are precise measures.

  1. Imagine that there is another version of you standing or sitting in front of you. This version is much more self-confident, than you.
  2. Now ask yourself a question: what do you need to do in order to become that confident version of yourself? Do you need to be more persistent? Do you need to divide your goals into parts so you could start reaching them gradually? Is there a skill you need to develop? Start doing that!
  3. As soon as you start making steps towards the right way, imagine once more that there is another more confident version of you, which is hundred times more confident. That version is more charismatic and smart. What do you need to do in order to become that version? Do that.
  4. Go on imagining yourself in more happy, more enthusiastic, more decisive versions. Continue taking actions to become these better versions of yourself until you feel that you became overwhelmed with your own confidence.

6. Take Care of Yourself Better

Self-confident people take care of themselves:

  • by eating healthy food;
  • by providing a healthy lifestyle;
  • by meditating and reading;
  • by not-winding themselves.

When you care about yourself, you certainly understand that you are important and worth attention. All in all, your confidence depends on words you say to yourself about yourself.

7. Remark Situations when it is all Good and Correct

Successful Confidence Gained

Here are some ideas you can use right now:

  • Catch yourself doing something well, even if the thing is totally banal. For instance, you were a master of tea-making today: you’ve spilled only a half of a teapot!
  • When celebrating your success, praise yourself in your mind;
  • Allow yourself feeling proud of a completed job;
  • Do this as often as possible.

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