Do you notice yourself being stuck in a cycle of losses again and again? If you repeat phrases like “Oh, again…” and “Why me?” time after time, then you need to break your loser’s syndrome with the help of a certain approach one of our professional essay writers uses for himself.
When failure happens for the first time, a person usually doesn’t pay attention to it, and thinks it to be a one-time case. They think same thoughts on the second time. On the third time, they think loss to be a coincidence. Fourth, fifth, sixth accident happens…
You probably know a person (or you are the one) that is always late. This person is late on purpose; he or she might even not like this habit, but nothing changes. You can remember that you know this person for years, and he or she didn’t come on time once. The reason is not they live far, they continue being late even if the meeting point is near their house.
You may notice such person not to be a loser, but think about that: for some reason, they can’t come five minutes earlier in order to come to the lecture or office in time. This is a signal of their being distracted. Additionally, this can be the reason for that person to not gain success in life exactly due to this silly habit. People treat others being late normally for first two times, but constant latencies call out irritation and negative thoughts about such person. That is why they will feel difficult to find a job where nobody would pay attention to the fact of their being late.
It has to be mentioned at once: a loser is not a person suffering from any troubles, but a person who is the reason of their failures themselves.
Look at these repeatable templates and think if some of them are about you:
- Disability to finish the job on time;
- Being distracted;
- Constant choice of the wrong partner;
- Falling asleep late at night and feeling difficult to wake up;
- Not doing what intended;
- Giving up while standing halfway;
- Staying at work till night;
- Emotional exhaustion.
If you’ve noticed some of these things to happen to you very often, then you need to do something about your life.
How to Break Repeating Patterns
Many people try fixing the situation through putting enormous efforts and discipline. And it works.
For some time.
The lack of this approach is the fact it requires much energy during a long period of time. As soon as you weaken your grip, everything turns back again.
The point is, the discipline does not try to work with a person’s psychology, but tries to ram it. And as a rule, psychology (patterns) is stronger. That is why acting from the side of psychology is wise here.
Psychology stands on a fundamental structure that contains your internal beliefs and values. You need to look inside of your own soul and mind in order to find triggers that launch your behavior if you want to change it.
Before starting to do exercises to remove unwanted patters, you should take a piece of paper and write all facts you want to change. Do not hurry.
When the list is ready, follow next instructions:
1. Remember and write about last five situations when this repeating patter showed up. If this is your being late, for example, just remind yourself last five accidents when you were late.
2. Consider factors that led to this result. For instance, you were late, because: a) you woke up too late in the morning; b) you had a sudden task to do before coming out from the house; c) there was no bus for too long; d) you were unable to find the required place fast.
Find patterns. If to suppose that you mentioned five situations when you were late and there were six factors in each of them, then there were thirty factors in general. Which factors are met most of all? Let’s think, that you were late because of the second factor most often: you had a sudden and important task to do right before leaving home.
3. Find out reasons why factors appear. What caused them to show up? Why do you get up late? Is it because of you falling asleep late? Why do you fall asleep late? Continue digging until you find the real reason. For instance you can find out that the reason why you meet important tasks before leaving to the office is that you never finish your tasks, and they always show up at the very last moment. You couldn’t plan your tasks, tried to do them all at once and achieved nothing. You gave up and let it all go on its own. This is how we found out why being late can sometimes say about a person suffering from loser’s syndrome.
4. Determine your actions. As soon as you’ve come to key reasons, it is time to think out how you are going to act in order to destroy them. For instance, you decide to create a plan for the next year, week and day in order to stop being late. You determine your priorities and values, and you live according to them. You finish all your tasks and you are proud of yourself. And if you are late sometimes, the reasons are really special.
This is how one can get rid of all the repeating behavioral patterns step by step. As you can see, there is a certain factor standing behind every pattern, and it is possible to deal with it.
You can start providing a diary in order to note events happening to you during the day. It will help you find patterns and make correct conclusions to deal with your loser syndrome.